“Pretty Is As Pretty
Does”
All the time I was growing up I wanted to be beautiful. I was impatient to finally
be allowed to wear makeup, stylish clothing, and high-heeled shoes. I would
go to the mirror – but I would never see the beautiful woman I longed
to see. . . Instead, my father and mother kept talking to me about developing
a beautiful heart. If I would do this, then everyone would see beauty in my
face. Mother would say, “Pretty is as pretty does.” I know she meant
that what we DO is more important that how we look – but I still kept
checking my mirror, anyway. . . Even though I kept thinking of that mirror,
I also listened to my mother and father. What did they teach me? How to live
for Jesus. Simple, isn’t it. Just learn to please Jesus.
One of the ways my mother taught me to love Jesus was by the way she dressed,
what shesaid and what she did. She remained modestly dressed even within the
family home and taught me to do the same in front of my brother and father.
What standard did she use to make her decisions? God’s standard, of course!
Because she dressed modestly, I wanted to copy her. But when I grew older and
wanted to be like the other girls, to feel like I belonged, I began to desire
more than my mother was willing to let me do. I now had to make a choice. I
had to ask myself some questions: Who has the right to rule my life? Did God
make it impossible to obey him? Why not? Do I return His love? Am I thankful
for His love? Can I obey him in the way HE wanted me to dress and act?
Young ladies, yes, you have to make a choice in how you dress. Dress is not
neutral!
Everyone has a dress code – either because you thought carefully about
your choice from a moral, God-driven standpoint, or because you let someone
else think for you and you have accepted their choice. You say, never? Hmmm,
when you pop into clothing stores, what are you looking for but for “fashion”
clothes designed by ungodly men and women whose god is big money. What makes
big money? S.E.X! What kind of fashion clothing? To reveal the body! “
One fashion designer (J Pollard) said, “The deliberate concealment of
certain parts of the body originated not as a way of discouraging sexual interest,
but as a clever device for arousing – covering the body in such a way
as to exaggerate and draw attention to the naked body underneath.”
So the real choice over our standards of dress is between man as lawgiver (Sex!
Pride! Money!) or God as lawgiver (modest clothing). God has always cared about
how women AND men dress (Gen 3:6-11,21). When Adam and Eve sinned they recognized
that their naked bodies must be covered, but God had to give them guidance about
how much of their bodies must be covered. What God provided we KNOW is modest
in His eyes. When we read of God’s design for his priests’ clothing,
it can give us even more understanding of modest clothing (Exodus 28:40-42).
1 Timothy 2:9-10
In like manner also, that the women adorn themselves in modest apparel,(well
ordered, honourable, respectable, tasteful, presenting themselves as children
of God) with propriety (with a sense of shame toward nakedness, thus standing
respectfully before God) and moderation (to be of sound mind, thinking
reasonably and rationally), not with braided hair or gold or pearls or costly
clothing, 10 but, which is proper for women professing godliness, with good
works.
1 Peter 3:3-4
Do not let your adornment be merely outward (misplaced focus, example Isaiah
3:16-24) – arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fine apparel
– 4 rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible
beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of
God.
Modesty is not just about clothing. It is an attitude, a way of behaviour and
therefore tied together with purity, humility, moderation, propriety, shamefacedness,
and reverence. Thus, modesty also includes consideration of how we walk and
sit. Notice how the Scriptures describe a prostitute’s walk, Isaiah 3:16.
1 Timothy 2:9-10 and 1 Peter 3:3-6 teach us how we are not to focus on how we
might dress ourselves in an expensive, stand out, showy manner, but instead
we must focus on our service to God–good works performed with humility.
Until we settle this matter of who is going to set the standard of dress in
our hearts, we will not allow the Scriptures to teach us to wisely apply the
many principles that must guide our choice of dress code.
Yes, modesty is an issue of the heart. And if the heart is true and right with
God, it will exercise inner self-government before God, with outward evidence
of humility and purity from a genuine love for Christ. People will read your
heart by looking at the clothes you wear! Make sure Jesus is shining within
you.
We are in a battle against Satan in our culture. The lust of the flesh (1 John
2:16) is one of Satan’s strongest tools. We are bombarded with messages
of sexuality - TV, newspapers. magazines, billboards, radio. We can rarely find
modest clothing in the shops... All of these things numbs and dulls our senses
as to what is appropriate dress.
Young ladies, you are not alone. There are other good young women who are trying
to live for Jesus. I know it will take extra effort to consider what you wear
and the difficulty you will have in finding modest clothing. It might even cost
more if you make your clothing yourself or have it made. Yes, it will be really
hard to stand out, to be different, to not be part of the “in” crowd,
to not be accepted. But you CAN make the right choice. It is worth going against
the crowd. You will be developing true beauty of the heart and you will be a
beautiful woman long after your friends have shrivelled up and are looking like
old ladies. You are going to be full of life. So pay the price now, and watch
how God will bless you with good fruit.
EYE MAGNETS!
Let us think. Men are created by God to be visually stimulated. The following
list of problems has been made by young men who want to encourage you to dress
modestly:
1. Tight clothing. If you are wearing jeans that are the exact imprint of your
seat, they’re too tight. If you can see each cheek outlined, it’s
too tight. If you can’t grab any loose fabric from your chest, your shirt
is too tight. (Look in a mirror. Can you see the shape of your breasts? Yes?
Then your blouse/sweater is too tight.)
2. Too thin. Thin material is very clingy and reveals too much of the exact
shape you are. Men do not need to wonder if you are wearing a bra or not –
or waiting to catch you standing in the sunlight. Is it a hot day? What then?
3. Low-cut. If you can even begin to see cleavage, go back to the closet and
put on more clothes. Showing even a little makes the guys imagine what is further
down.
4. Too short. Can you see your thigh when you sit down? Legs are attractive
and men don’t stop there, and mentally take your skirt off. And on the
sports field? What then?
5. Midrift showing. Men will imagine their hands going up under your top and
reaching downward into your panties.
6. Slits in skirts. Stop and think. Why have the fashion people created the
slit? Because the skirt is too tight? Yes, and because the slit moves a man’s
eye upward for a sexual thrill. Men cannot help the desire to look at an attractive
woman because God has created them to be visually stimulated. What they do with
the thought AFTER they look is their responsibility and God holds them accountable
(Matthew 5:28; Luke 17:1-2). Why or why would we want to make them struggle
with sin? Do we just not care? Is that why women dress so indecently? Do we
want to cause another woman’s husband to sin?
Let us help our men, young and old, to make it to heaven! BE that Christian
woman you say
you are and LIVE it. If we have any doubts about our choices, we need to examine
our
conscience. We can ask ourselves how we would feel if we were standing before
a preacher
or president. Imagine that Jesus is sitting beside us. Would He be comfortable
with what we
are wearing? (He is there with you, He sees, He knows...)
Scriptures that help us to understand our responsibility to dress modestly:
Genesis 3:6-10 and 3:21 God made clothes for Adam and Eve, but remember they
had already put on enough clothing to hide their private parts. God is saying
they needed to cover MORE of their bodies.
Exodus 28:42 - God required the priests to wear undergarments when serving God.
Isaiah 47:1-3 God is speaking against wicked Babylon, but notice how God describes
a girl who is no longer pure.
Read Isaiah 3:16-24 which is a description that God condemns in women who are
concentrating on the outward body instead of their inward heart.
Song of Solomon 4:5 This is a description of sexual suggestion to make the husband
want sex with his wife. But if a girl or woman allows her breasts to show (even
without the nipple showing) she is enticing ANY man to look and lust after her.
Proverbs 5:18-19 Again, the proverb is speaking of a married man who should
desire only his wife – notice what should be exposed ONLY for him.
1 Timothy 2:8-10 Christian women should be concerned with matching their clothing
to what is
supposed to rule in their hearts. No one can confuse her with a prostitute (Proverbs
7:10). Paul also encourages Christian women to dress without great show.
“Proper clothing” – well-ordered, honorable, respectable,
tasteful.
“Modestly” – behaving reverently
“Discreetly” – to be of sound mind; sane; thinking reasonably
and rationally.
1 Peter 3:3-4 What is in your heart decides what you will wear. Titus 2:5 describes
what should be in her heart.
Matthew 5:27-28 Any man can be lost eternally because he is enticed by a woman
exposing her skin too much. Don’t be the one that causes him to sin (Matthew
18:6-7).
Matthew 5:13-16 When people see you in shorts that ride up your thigh in back
or in blouses that dip down into your breasts, they are not being impressed
with the light of Christ. When boys and men see the stomach showing they are
waiting to see what else they can see – and it isn’t the light of
Christ shining in your eye!
Titus 2:3-5 Older women are to be an example to the younger and to teach the
younger women to
live pure lives, in reverent behaviour “that the word of God may not be
dishonoured.”
Ephesians 4:1 Christians are to walk in a manner worthy of Christ.
Hebrews 12:14 The word “sanctification” speaks of moral purity,
set apart as righteous. Verse 15 says this is a command!
1 Thessalonians 5:21-22 We are to carefully examine our hearts, our speech,
and our actions (which includes the way we dress). We are to avoid even the
APPEARANCE of evil. That means if we are behaving so as to get someone to have
sexual thoughts by what we wear, we are not walking in holiness.
Galatians 5:19 Dressing immodestly is a work of the flesh and is condemned.
Excuses
1. Some boys/men will lust no matter what I wear.
a. That may be true, but at least you won’t be the cause.
b. Even if this is true, does that mean you can still wear immodest clothing?
2. If someone lusts after me, that’s their problem not mine. They ought
to learn to control their minds.
a. No, it is your problem (Matthew 18:6-7).
b. If you dress in revealing suggestive clothing you are guilty of lasciviousness
(Galatians 5:19).
3. It is hot and I dress for comfort in the summer. If that means shorter shorts,
lower cut dresses and blouses, and shorter skirts that barely cover what underwear
covers then so be it – I have to keep cool!
a. Nothing is wrong with keeping cool as long as we cover ourselves the way
God wants us to.
b. Are you willing to throw away God’s standard of decency just to keep
cool? Do men and women stop lusting just because it is hot?
4. It is none of your business what I wear!
a. God made it His business. God made parents responsible. God made you responsible
to please Him.
b. The fact that I love you and want you to go to heaven causes me to talk with
you about what
you are wearing and how it can cause you to miss eternal life.
5. I like the way I look. It makes me feel good. It makes me fit in with the
crowd.
a. Notice who you want to please. You are ignoring that God wants you to be
pure in heart and
clothing. You are ignoring how you can cause others to sin.
b. Do you like the boys? Then why are you doing them harm?
----------------------
PARENTS, we are to model a consistent example, Deut 6:5-7. You cannot have a
double standard in how you dress and what you teach your girls.
Deut. 6:5 "You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart, with all
your soul, and with all your strength. 6 "And these words which I command
you today shall be in your heart. 7 "You shall teach them diligently to
your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk
by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up. 8 "You shall bind
them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes.
9 "You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.
Parents are charged by God to protect their children. Modesty is just ONE area
that must be done. We must teach the principle of ownership. Our bodies are
not our own (1 Cor 6:19-20). They belong to God. Jesus is Lord over all. You
do not belong to this world. God is trusting us to respect our bodies, our beauty
and how we use it. It is necessary to constantly train our children from a young
age, encouraging right choices right up until they marry. Teach your daughters
how to be modest around their dad, around their brothers. It should be a way
of life. Make it the normal, natural way to dress, behave ALL the time. Emphasize
that they cannot make other girls their standard for dress. The issue of your
children’s clothing must not be a bigger issue than their hearts. Help
them to recognize that it is pride that will get in the way of choosing appropriate
clothing. Young women, we MUST understand the power of our influence on men
and how we can destroy their good intentions.
Let us teach and encourage our girls. Nothing hurts a young lady more then to
be accused of dressing like a harlot who is trying to seduce a man when she
doesn’t realize she is doing so.
WHAT CAN WE AS A CONGREGATION DO TO HELP OUR YOUNG PEOPLE?
Education! – confront the problem before the problem exists. Teach with
great regularity and boldness the principles of godly living. Teach by example!
Titus 2:3-5,7. Live godly lives before one another and this will accomplish
more than a hundred sermons and classes.
Expectation! – We need to EXPECT those who say they are children of God
to act like it!
Examination! – It is critical that we “examine everything carefully
and prayerfully, lest there be any among us who may fall short of God’s
gracious gift of salvation” (Hebrews 12:14-15; 1 Thessalonians 5:21-22).
If one among us is behaving immorally, including provocative apparel, designed
to entice lustful thoughts in others, to be something less than walking in holiness
– then we owe it to that person, as well as to the congregation, to call
them to more responsible behaviour.
Talk! – Reason with Bibles opened when talking to a Christian who is not
dressing modestly. Help them to write the meanings of important words in their
Bibles and make sure they understand the words. Not only should young people
be brought to an awareness of how to dress herself but their parents also need
to be educated. If such a talk is done in love, and with God’s Word as
the guiding standard, then precious souls can be steered back onto the straight
and narrow way of Christ.
The church is the bride of Christ. Let us honour and protect His bride!
By Joanne Beckley
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